I Can't Bexar Another Race 0.5k

The Big Deal

Join your fellow Slackers for a glorious day of triumph, self‑reflection, and a costume contest that absolutely no one asked for. Honestly, you can be done in fifteen to twenty minutes ("run" only), which is perfect for anyone who has a strict schedule of doing nothing.

Welcome to the 6th Annual “I Can’t Bexar Another 5k” 0.5k on October 31st, 2026 at 10:00 a.m. sharp. Or close to it. We start at Burleson Yard Beer Garden and end at Alamo Beer, because we do.

Remember to hydrate. This is a grueling event. We even have a training program if you request it. Really. It exists. We are as surprised as you are.

We will finish at Alamo Beer, and that is when the celebration begins. You can take an unreasonable number of selfies at our selfie wall, post them all over social media, even TikTok, and brag to your friends that you are a FINISHER. If you even have any friends.

Too lazy to show up? Perfect. We built an option just for you - the class of participants who look at a half‑kilometer stroll and say, “Absolutely not.”

At registration, simply declare - proudly, loudly, maybe even with jazz hands - that you are a Certified Slacker. No judgment. No shame. Honestly, we respect the commitment to doing nothing. Once you’ve confessed your laziness, we’ll mail your swag straight to your door so you don’t have to burn a single calorie.

As a Lazy Participant, you’ll still receive:

• The official race t‑shirt (which you will not sweat in)
• A pretentious sticker announcing your “achievement”
• And a luxurious leather medal that doubles as a coaster because nothing says “I conquered a brutal 0.5K” like placing your drink on proof you didn’t actually show up.

Congratulations in advance on "finishing" the world’s most avoidable race.

The Very Inactive Person (VIP) is designed specifically for those who take one look at 543 yards and say, “Listen… I’m important. My legs don’t do that.”

If you believe you are far too distinguished, influential, or spiritually delicate to run (or walk), simply upgrade for a mere $15. That’s right - for the price of a fast‑food combo meal, you can ride to the finish line like royalty on the tailgate of a snappy Dodge 3500 Pearl White Dually. Because nothing says “athletic achievement” like arriving on a truck that could tow a small planet. You big spender, you. Only the finest transportation for someone of your stature.

And as a VIP, you’ll also receive a special lanyard - a difference that loudly announces, “I did not participate, but I absolutely arrived.” It sets you apart from the common walkers and overachievers. Only the best for you.

Goodies and Fun Stuff!

If you want a stylish, lavish, highly sought-after t-shirt on race you must register prior to October 10th. If you miss the gate, some shirts will be available two-three weeks after registration, so you’ll need to pick them up then. We’ll let you know when your ship (shirt) comes in. This is why we really do it, anyway.  

The flashy oval 0.5k sticker shows your dedication to training and endurance for all to see. So, brag a little. Stick it right on your front windshield at eye-level so you can enjoy it too, along with the jealous glares of your fellow commuters as they meet you in the other lane. 

“Medals”. EVERYONE gets one, and it’ll be the coolest one you ever got. It doubles as a coaster, so when you entertain friends, you can passive-aggressively brag.

We will continue to have a rejuvenation station, first aid (not really-if you need it, it’s on you), and the smoking area at the halfway mark. We decided to have this due to the difficulty level of the “race” for your own safety. 

There’s also the very competitive, popular vote individual and group costume contests with prizes. Dress up in anything fun or stupid. If you’re even considering this, you probably already have a costume in your secret closet.  

Post- “race” celebration and victory party is at Alamo Beer, where they’re opening early just for us, and because they recognize the importance of hydration and a free beer. Yay! It’s Alamo Beer’s SPOOKTOBERFEST celebration, and they’ll music. Only the best for you.

You get your free beer at the finish. You may get only one free beer, but you can always buy more of Alamo Beer’s special SPOOKTOBERFEST beer, so please think about an Uber or DD. Seriously.

Volunteers. Yeah, you. We need you. Simply sign up for it at the link that says “Volunteer”. You still get all the swag and can drive over the finish line. Only the best for you.

Military are eligible for volunteer credit, and high schooler eligible for Community Service. We’ll provide all that’s required for the credit.

Register before Oct 12th to guarantee the swag.